The road to authenticity

Suzanne Mercier - Wednesday, March 17, 2010

On many occasions after speaking, I have been asked about "becoming authentic"; what happens, how long does it take?  In my response, I seek to convey that it's not a click of your fingers thing, that imposterhood and its flipside - authenticity - aren't digital but rather two ends of a continuum, and that authenticity is a gradually revealed state.  It is an uncovering of who we really are, underneath the protective mechanisms we put in place.  Here's an idea of what the journey might be like.

At first, we may simply be aware that there is something not quite right about our interactions and responses.  Life isn't the way we want it to be.  We don't feel good about who we (think we) are.  We may then become aware that we are putting on a mask which is who we think others want us to be in that situation, not who we really are.  If we follow that thought and consider who we think we really are, we will probably become aware that how we see ourselves doesn't logically compute with what we've achieved and how others see us.  We may challenge our own beliefs and bust them.  We may let the truth seep into our distorted self-view. Once we become aware, we can't go back.  We realise we're doing it to ourselves and at that point, we have a choice. 

The path to authenticity involves peeling back those masks one at a time, one situation at a time and looking upon our authentic selves with appreciation and compassion.  It is a process, a journey and like any journey, it takes time to reach the destination.  Along the way, we see ourselves with kinder and more realistic eyes.  We see our qualities and start to feel more comfortable with them.  We stop focussing on the things we don't do so well, recognising that we're not the only ones with faults.  We come to understand that we're not the only ones who feel not good enough so we can let go of the shame.  We may even develop a sense of humour around some of the things that would have paralysed us earlier in the journey.  We really start to like ourselves.  We catch ourselves having critical thoughts and question them.  We lift ourselves out of the hole that is imposterhood and see all the others doing exactly the same thing.  We are not alone on this journey to authenticity.

What do you think?  I'd love to know.
All the very best
Suzanne