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    Rapport building - genuine connection or manipulation?

    Suzanne Mercier - Sunday, May 16, 2010


    Rapport building is essential to establish a connection and develop a relationship at some level.  We have all had occasions on which we have just gelled with someone - really connected - and started talking as though we've known each other for years.  That is natural and true rapport.  We may also have experienced situations where someone tried so hard - perhaps too hard - to connect with us and it didn't feel right.

    We can create rapport intentionally with people we meet by seeking to find values and views we have in common to set up the foundation and framework for developing a relationship.  We certainly find it easier to get into rapport with some people than with others.  My question is this.  When we purposely seek to create rapport with someone, are we being authentic or manipulative?

    My belief is that if we are connecting on the basis of genuine values and views, we are at least identifying an authentic foundation for the relationship.  On top of that, if our intention is one that is either mutually beneficial or serves a higher purpose than our own needs and desires, it is authentic and not manipulative.  On the other hand, if the rapport is built on sand - in other words, one person is making out that they hold certain values and views and they are simply not true for that person - then that is a shaky foundation.  And if their intention is to serve their own purpose, then I do believe their attempts to build rapport are manipulative.

    I also believe that most of us have a reasonably good BS detector and can, at some level, pick up the incongruence. 

    What do you think?  I'd love to hear
    All the very best
    Suzanne



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