Suzanne Mercier - Thursday, April 22, 2010
Change can be so painful - particularly the anticipation of change - and we only change when we feel that we have no choice. The very overused boiled frog analogy comes to mind. While doing what we can to avoid pain at the level we can't tolerate, many of us are motivated by the thought of a better world.
While working in the area of the Imposter Syndrome for the past 17 months, all my unresolved "stuff" has come up - stuff I thought I had handled years ago. I became aware of heart-gripping feeling of fear and realised how constant it was in my life. It felt like my world had become so much smaller. This time around though, I've had the opportunity to handle it differently,- more honestly. I have no choice now. When something hasn't been handled to a stage of completeness, it sits in my mind and crops up at totally unexpected moments. Now that I'm really handling it, life is changing. Sometimes the changes are so fast, I can't catch my breath, while at other times, it seems life is standing still.
What I have done is kept a record of where I was and where I am now, so I have evidence of what has changed. It gives me confidence to keep going when it feels like I've stalled. On the business front, my client base has increased along with my income. On the whole, my relationships are authentic and deepening. Stuff still comes up and I hop onto it reasonably quickly. I'm in a more creative space which I love. And my mind seems to be firing so much faster than it was. Life feels so much more exciting than it did 5 months ago when I hit a low point.
It's reassuring to know that things on the other side of Fear Mountain are so positive. Probably more importantly is "how did the change happen?"
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Awareness creates the pattern break so I have the opportunity to make a choice.
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Cognitive reappraising the situation - using the power of my mind to detect negative thoughts and replace them with positive ones.
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Stepping back from the feeling of fear and the resulting stress so I can reclaim my brain.
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Consciously bringing myself back to the present. Fear only exists in the future. By that I mean that fear is anxiety over something we think is going to happen. 90% of the time, it doesn't! Plus, the only time we can choose is in the present.
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Reframing my take on the situation so I could see it from a different
perspective, increasing my wisdom
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Engaging in the daily practice of gratitude that comes when we are mindful: of the world around us, of any human interactions, of the beauty of our homes, of the wonder of nature, of the amazing lifestyle we have in Australia. When we're grateful, our hearts expand. We may even feel joy. In that space, it's impossible to feel fearful.
When we live with something - even pain - for an extended period of time, it becomes the norm. So, if you haven't done so already, start to notice where you limit what you let yourself do; where you pull back from some new adventure or from something that is unknown; where you become less than you know you really are. When you become aware, you can choose to do it differently. I think you're worth it. Don't you?
What do you think? I'd love to hear.
All the very best
Suzanne
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