On Fear and Folly

Suzanne Mercier - Friday, December 18, 2009

As I talk and write about the Imposter Syndrome and more particularly, how we move past it, I focus in on the nature of fear.  So many of us are gripped by that dreadful gut-wrenching feeling from time to time.  I can recall a time when I had just finished renovating my apartment.  I went out for an afternoon appointment and as I was driving home, I had that awful feeling that I had left eggs boiling on the stove.  "My beautiful apartment.  OMG what if I've started a fire!"  I was completely consumed by fear and drove home like a maniac.  Yes, I had left eggs boiling on the stove.  Yes, they had boiled dry and the eggs had exploded.  Unlike my fears, though, all that had happened - fortunately - was that I had redecorated the kitchen ceiling and walls with egg.  The worst hadn't happened.

Isn't that true of so many things that we fear.  We have this awful anticipation of what will happen and that inflames our fear making the whole situation worse.

I recently attended an excellent Advanced Presentation Skills workshop with Michelle Bowden (www.michellebowden.com.au).   Her programme provided me with new skills and reminded me of some I wasn't capitalising on.  I would highly recommend it.

In her programme she conducted an exercise around connecting with the audience.  Broadly, the exercise involved taking my attention from my hands to an external place and back to my nose.  Where I put my attention changed my physiology.  When my attention was on my nose, I felt closed in, shut down.  When it was on a much more expansive space, my body felt lighter and I felt more confident.  Thinking about the exercise later, I realised that it had much broader application than presenting skills (and it is excellent for that, don't get me wrong).  I realised that when I am fearful, my attention is on the end of my nose, so to speak.  I am closed down, I can't see the possibilities.  When I extend my attention, I open up to the bigger picture.  It may be a plan I have or it may simply be putting that one situation into context.

Now, when I become fearful, I practice extending my attention beyond the situation that has stimulated the feeling of fear and into a bigger time frame and bigger outcome.  It stops me from spiralling into a negative mindset and behaving in ways that can sabotage my desired outcomes.

Try it the next time fear grips you.  I'd love to hear if it works for you.

Thank you

Suzanne