Men, Women and the Imposter Syndrome

Suzanne Mercier - Sunday, July 19, 2009

     We all know that men and women are different, right?  Apart from the obvious.  We think differently.  We have different drivers and we were raised or conditioned differently.

     In general, men have been brought up to think of themselves as the bread winner and head of the family.  Whether they can do it or not, they step up and work it out from there.

     Women, on the other hand, have been brought up to consider themselves the nurturers, the ones who hold the family together, the ones who have and primarily raise the children, who set up and maintain the home.  Now, I know that nothing is as black and white as this, and most of us have had conditioning along those lines.

     When it comes to the Imposter Syndrome - that condition of feeling like a fake or fraud and not good enough, even in the face of evidence to the contrary - men and women experience it in similar numbers although it manifests very differently.

     Men are reputed to fear failure.  Their concern is that they cannot provide for the family or fulfill their role as the head of the family.

     While they also fear failure, the main fear for women is the fear of success.  They are concerned that the price they have to pay for success will be too high.  It might cost them their partner, family, friends, social life or some other important area in a balanced nurturing life.

     With 2 divorces, no children and a totally unbalanced life in favour of work, I can certainly relate to this.  What about you?  What is your experience?  Do you agree or disagree?  I’d  love to hear from you.

Thanks.
Suzanne