Humility vs. Low Self-Esteem

Suzanne Mercier - Friday, March 05, 2010

I was talking with a wonderful women the other day about humility.  It occurred to me that now is a god time to talk about the distinctions between humility and low self-esteem.

When I have low self-esteem, I feel that I am not good enough; I simply don’t measure up.  If I have the tendency towards the Imposter Syndrome (see article....) I am likely to engage in defensive behaviours to protect myself from exposure as the fake I feel myself to be.  Both my verbal and non-verbal language will reflect that internal reality.  I may sound weak and wimpy, uncertain and needy - seeking approval or reassurance from others.  My shoulders may be slumped, eyes downcast.  Certainly not a power position.

Contrast that with someone who has humility.  I believe we can only have humility - humbleness - when we have incredible internal strength.  We have developed our internal compass - which includes compassion for others - and we operate from that compass in all our decision making.  We do what’s right for us over and over again, even when it’s not easy, building our character.  When we truly believe that we are fine just the way we are; when we don’t need to prove anything to anyone including ourselves.  We can be flexible because we know that the small stuff isn’t that important.  We see our talents and strengths as gifts and we know others have been equally blessed.  “Better than others” doesn’t even enter the equation.

I know which one I’m aiming for.
What do you think?  I’d love to hear
All the very best
Suzanne