Suzanne Mercier - Tuesday, April 20, 2010
Over the past few days, I've been living and working out of a friend's house in Seaforth, right on the water. Every morning (very early), the rowers are out training with their coaches in speedboats alongside.
I got to thinking that when we're engaged in something that requires intense concentration and requires us to use our talents, skills and experiences, we are operating in the present and most likely in flow. There's no room for worrying about whether we're good enough in that moment. It doesn't even occur to us. We're engaged in great work, whatever that might be. No fear exists ... because fear only exists when we live in the future.
In the present, we can be totally connected with who we are and what we're capable of. We can identify our strengths and the areas where we can make our unique contribution. In the present, we can choose to act ... or not ... because choice only exists in the present.
Now I'm not saying we shouldn't spend any time thinking about the future and planning for desired outcomes. I am suggesting that we pay attention to how much time we spend in the future and become aware of how much of that time is actually constructive (creating the future we want) versus destructive (triggering anxiety and fear). Once we're aware of the ratio, we can choose - in the present - to change it.
What do you think? I'd love to hear.
All the very best
Suzanne
Suzanne Mercier - Sunday, April 18, 2010
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I have a tough job this weekend. I'm house-sitting for a friend while
she attends a conference I decided to avoid this year. She has a
beautiful Kelpie dog named Cosmo and a home on the waters at Seaforth.
Tough gig.
Cosmo is the most playful 3 year old dog I've encountered. He's just so
into the "now" that Eckhart Tolle would be proud of him. Not far from
Mo's house is a little beach with a swimming area fenced in to protect
swimmers from sharks. Cosmo loves that beach so for two mornings in a
row, we've walked down so we can both get some exercise and he can play
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The first thing he does is to rush into the water to chase tiny fish. As he ploughs through the water, his tail wagging madly, the little fish leap out of the water in front of him. He watches them intently and tries to catch them. Back and forth across the pool, 5 minutes, 10 minutes, 15 minutes. His concentration is amazing and he's clearly in flow. He's consistent and persistent.
Then he turns his attention to the beach and starts digging. The sheer joy with which he flings the sand in the air is wonderful to watch. The different ways he approaches the hole to dig it into a different shape show me he's very creative.
He found an old ball which he dragged around the beach with one paw, then buried, dug up, buried, dug up. The whole time, his tail was wagging and he had an expression of pure joy on his face.
As I watched him, I felt that joy. I had to laugh at his antics. I was amazed at his dedication. He was demonstrating pure authenticity: total acceptance of who he is. There was no thought that he wasn't good enough - not one! He was driven to do something he was really good at - digging holes and chasing fish.
You know, sometimes we just complicate things. Perhaps life can be that simple. Find out what you love to do and just do it, knowing that you can and knowing that it doesn't matter what anyone else says, this is what brings you joy and meaning.
What do you think? I'd love to know
All the very best
Suzanne
Suzanne Mercier - Friday, April 16, 2010
At the end of last week, I received a call from a successful real estate executive wanting to work with me to identify his purpose and the purpose of his business. He has multiple real estate offices. He is presumably financially successful, but money is rarely enough. He is on his personal journey and wants to add more meaning to his life and a strong foundation for his business.
While I've been talking about Purpose - our reason for being here and the area where we can be of greatest service - for around 18 years, no-one has ever contacted me out of the blue to ask me to guide them on this type of journey before. Purpose requires us to fully recognise and accept our talents and skills because without recognising them, we can't use them to be of service in a way that is unique to each of us. We need to embrace our authenticity in order to access our wisdom. Purpose and Imposterhood don't go together.
I'm so excited because I think either our consciousness is changing or I'm changing enough to attract this type of work into my life without having to do the hard sell on why Purpose is so important. Most likely both.
It inspired me to write down what has changed in my life since I recognised that I had found my area of service and decided what success means to me. It's such a great exercise because on a day-to-day basis, we may think nothing is moving. In reality, our world is shifting - at first slowly and the at an accelerated rate.
I hope the same is happening for you.
What do you think? I'd love to know.
All the very best
Suzanne
Suzanne Mercier - Thursday, April 15, 2010
I'm currently developing some material for a conference presentation around the subject of success and providing a pathway for the attendees to follow in order to be more successful at work. As I was mapping the presentation out in my head, one thought kept coming up: how do we define success for ourselves? It's such a subjective area yet so many of us take on other peoples' ideas of what success is and should be for us.
Success may be measured in monetary terms and for many it is. It may be measured by the degree of loyalty and support in a family. For so many others, it's about making a difference, being of service and living a meaningful life.
An equally important question is "What am I willing to pay / give up in order to be successful?" This question usually helps us identify the level of motivation we have around being successful.
For years, I thought that I would be successful when I made a certain amount of money. At the level I had in mind, I would be able to do and have exactly what I wanted so people would know I was successful. Pure ego talking! Thank goodness I've got a healthier view of success now.
Finally, the ultimate question: do I truly believe I deserve the success I want? You see, I didn't really believe I deserved success and my desire to make heaps of money was to show them (and to show me) that I really was valuable. So, I sabotaged all my opportunities, walking away just before they came to fruition. Feeling like a fake and fraud and not being good enough wasn't conscious yet it formed the backbone of my view of the world and that's exactly what I manifested.
So, when you think of being successful, really explore what that means to you, what you're willing to do in order to achieve that outcome and what stands in the way.
What do you think? I'd love to know.
All the very best
Suzanne
Suzanne Mercier - Wednesday, April 14, 2010
A friend, Mo Fox, and I were talking last night about a great presentation she had attended with Gina Lazenby, featuring the work of Riane Eisler and the subject of Caring Economics.
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The conversation reminded me of Dr. Marilyn Waring - the crusading NZ
ex-MP who took on the United Nations and specifically their System of
National Accounts. She objected to the fact that the only thing that
was measured in the economy and therefore the only thing that was valued
was an activity that created an exchange of money, earned an income.
Under that system of measurement, the activity involved in creating,
nurturing, and raising a child did not create money so it was not valued
and not measured. Under that same system, war was valued as it
generated income.
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In fact, international trade in arms was - in 1988 at the
time Waring's book "If Women Counted" was published - the
biggest
growth industry of all and as Waring points out, killing
people or
preparing to kill is very valuable in the international
economic system
and therefore entire countries whose economic systems are
based on arms
have a vested interest in there being a war somewhere in the
world. The
same economic system that values arms trading because it is
an economic
transaction, never measures the debit which in this case
would include
death, homelessness, injury, poverty and starvation.
What we are seeing in Waring's work and in less
confrontational terms,
the work of Eisler, is a calling to economic account for the softer
values that have huge current and potential value to our lives and those of the generations to come. Eisler's new economic model, taken from her book "The Real
Wealth of Nations: Creating a Caring Economics", adds 3 new sectors of
the economy into the model: Volunteer Services, Household and
Environment. Eisler also proposes ways in which these three sectors can become
part of the total economic picture.
Going back and reconnecting with Waring's work got me thinking about soft and hard values and skills. My mind shifted from looking at the global economy to thinking about organisations today - a natural segue if you consider that organisations contribute to the economy and are therefore measured in positive terms, not necessarily any deficits they create.
The argument about the inherent worth of soft or hard values and skills still plays out in that environment. Women are generally thought to embody the softer skills. According to the Business Council of Australia, only 10.7% of
senior executive positions in Australia are held by women. They occupy just 2% of CEO
roles. Women chair 2% of ASX 200 companies and hold just 8.3% of board directorships. What do those figures say about how highly business values the softer values?
As a speaker, trainer and coach working in the area of soft skills - helping people engage and deliver to their potential - I have frequently heard "We're only focussing on hard skills. That's what we need right now. That soft stuff is too hard to measure and it takes too long". Yet, the soft stuff is what drives the improved and sustained results they're looking for in their bottom line and shareholder returns.
It's much easier to see, assess and measure improvements in hard skills. It is possible though to gauge the impact of softer skills on bottom line, particularly over time. In recent years, we've read books• that outline sustained superior business results from focussing on the soft stuff - business purpose; style of leadership where the leader sees him- or herself as being in service to the people and organisation rather than in control; where people are recognised as critical to the success of the organisation and every effort is made to ensure their work is meaningful for them because their unique contribution is so valuable; where the philosophy of finding the right people, then putting them into the jobs they can best use their skills, to name just a few. The companies profiled in the books below significantly outperformed their competition year after year because they focussed on the soft stuff.
I think finding a way to incorporate soft skills into any organisation is well worth the effort for now and for the future. What do you think? I'd love to hear.
All the very best
Suzanne
• Books such as "Built to Last" (Porras & Collins) "Good to Great" (Collins), "Firms of Endearment" (Sisodia, Sheth & Wolf), "The Speed of Trust" (Covey Jr.), "Meaning, Inc." (Baines), "Purpose. The starting point of great companies" (Mourkogiannis)
Suzanne Mercier - Monday, April 12, 2010
One final piece to the Stress story I've talked about over the past couple of days. The first troop of baboons Robert Sapolsky studied, experienced a tragedy 10 years into the study that changed the culture of the troop from that point forward. They discovered a tourist facility and began raiding their garbage for food. Unfortunately, they consumed meat tainted with TB and half the troop died. The deaths weren't random ... they were all the alpha males of the troop, presumably because they could take whatever they wanted and consumed the "lion's share" of the available food.
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So the troop were left with the "nice guys" and the females. Behaviour
changed and the troop began to exhibit high levels of social
affiliation. They groomed each other and cared for each other more than
they had when the alpha males had run things. When new adolescent males came into the troop, they
exhibited all the alpha male aggression that had characterised the troop
at one stage. But ... after 6 months, they adjusted their behaviour
and fell into line with the more nurturing and socially affiliated
culture of the troop. that nurturing behaviour has persisted in the original troop for the past 20 years.
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This troop no longer exhibited signs of stress - such as high blood pressure, changed brain chemistry. They typified what could happen for humans in a world of acceptance, harmony and co-operation.
The lessons for our corporate world are obvious:
- aggressive behaviour creates stress on those who are being treated poorly and stress creates health issues that impact on productivity, morale and absenteeism in the workplace
- aggressive behaviour can also create uncertainty and loss of control for those further down the "food chain" which can trigger or exacerbate feelings of 'not good enough' and a full flight experience of Imposterhood.
- "you get more flies with honey than vinegar" was a saying my mother used frequently and which reflects the changed experience of the first baboon troop Sapolsky studied and the benefits that came from increased social affiliation, nurturing and reduced stress. Taking that into the corporate environment, this underpins the Gallup finding that people join organisations and leave managers. If the manager treats his or her staff poorly, they will either leave literally or emotionally. Certainly poor and aggressive management negatively impact on productivity and the contribution of discretionary effort beyond job descriptions, which literally increases bottom line.
- happy people work together. They want to create something great; something meaningful. They enjoy the social interactions and support they receive. The certainty and feeling of control that come from being nurtured and guided lead to significantly higher levels of productivity and contribution.
I think it's worth an investment in reducing the stress in our people. What do you think? I'd love to hear.
All the very best
Suzanne
Suzanne Mercier - Sunday, April 11, 2010
Yesterday, I introduced the subject of stress and its significant costs to us as individuals, to our families and the organisations we work for. The ABC programme that stimulated the blog was Portrait of a Killer. This programme really struck a chord with me: it's well worth watching.
I talked about the consequences of stress which certainly surprised me. Even more unexpected for me though were the key findings from the two studies. Like many of us, I attribute stress to life moving too fast, change being a constant, feeling carried along by an insane tidal wave, having far too much to do, balancing roles that seem impossible to balance. I also believe that we feel stressed when we're in environments which bring up or exacerbate our feelings of "not good enough".
Here's what the studies found:
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Social standing and rank can make us more or less susceptible to
stress.
The higher the rank and social standing, the lower the
stress levels - in baboons and humans. A huge component of stress is
loss of control and the further down the food chain we are, the less
control we have or perceive ourselves to have. People who live in
affluent areas and feel affluent are far less stressed than people who
live in less stable environments where the threat of physical violence
on a daily basis is very real. These people need to be hypervigilant,
always on their guard which is highly stressful. People who are in
positions of greater control are less stressed than those they control.
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Control is linked with levels of stress.
The more in control we are, the less stress we are likely to experience. Greater levels of control are more likely to be found further up the hierarchy. Studying the baboons, Robert Sapolsky, a Professor of Neurobiology at Stanford University, noticed that the alpha males took what they wanted when they wanted. He also noticed that when they were frustrated, they took that frustration out on baboons who were further down the hierarchy, and that they in turn, did the same thing to those baboons they controlled - often the females.
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It's a great argument for heading for the top isn't it! At least there, we have greater social standing and control over circumstances. We know as the alpha that we control what goes on around us, not the other way around.
Our lives are far broader - I hope - than just work, so to counteract any feeling of powerlessness in our work environment, we can look for other areas in our lives where we can be at the top of the pyramid and which nurture our self-esteem.
My current focus on the Imposter Syndrome and what generally gets in the way of us being who we are and doing what we're capable of means that I put on that pair of goggles when I look at the similar results the two studies produced.
When we're feeling like fakes and frauds, we are feeling uncomfortable with who we think we are. We put on a mask or facade if you like that presents a face to the world - a face we believe is more acceptable, more lovable, more worthy of respect and opportunities. The schism between who we think we are and who we present to the world causes anxiety and stress. Like the civil servants or baboons who are way down on the food chain, we become hypervigilant, watching out for situations that threaten us.
When we can embrace who we are - our authenticity - we create control in our lives through surrender. We surrender the notion of perfection. We surrender the need to control events. The only thing we can control is our response to those events. That puts us firmly in our power which is an envigorating feeling, not the powerless feeling that comes when we feel pushed around and can't do anything about it.
What do you think? I'd love to hear
All the very best
Suzanne
Suzanne Mercier - Saturday, April 10, 2010
Yesterday, a friend Richard Stacey pointed me in the direction of an ABC programme I had missed called "Portrait of a Killer". The programme highlights the significant and surprising results of stress in two quite different studies: One was a tribe of baboons in the Masai Mara Reserve, Kenya and the other was British Civil Servants in Whitehall, London.
Understandably, stress triggered very different behaviours in those being studied. In baboons, gathering food only took 3 hours per day, leaving them with up to 9 hours to fill. They did that by generally making each others' lives miserable. The alpha males in the group would abuse those lower on the hierarchy who would, in turn, take their frustration out on those further down the food chain. The abuse was overt and physical. In fact, it wasn't so different to what can be experienced in the workplace when senior leaders and managers taking their frustration out on those beneath them. It's just more subtle in the human sphere and takes the form of emotional and mental abuse rather than physical punishment.
Findings on the consequences of stress from both studies included:
- increased heart rate and blood pressure which is linked with deteriorating health
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reduction in the number of brain cells, effectively shrinking our brains
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telomeres that cap the ends of our chromosomes unravel, speeding up the aging process
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damaged artery walls enable deposits of plaque which prevent the artery wall from expanding and increase our risk of heart attack
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reduction in the capability of our immune system to control bacteria in the body, resulting in increased dis-ease
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changed brain chemistry to resemble that of a chronically depressed human
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altered the brain circuits impairing the ability to remember and learn
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modified metabolism which changes the way our bodies store fat (around the middle - the dangerous fat)
When we consider the impact that each of these factors has on our happiness as individuals, our ability to contribute to our highest potential, the impact on our families of being stressed and frustrated when we return from work, the very real cost to our health and wellbeing, stress needs to be understood and handled now!
In my next blog, I'll examine the surprising causes of stress and why some people experience it while others seem to have a much easier time of it.
What do you think about the cost of stress in our lives? I'd love to hear.
All the very best
Suzanne
Suzanne Mercier - Thursday, April 08, 2010
Expectations play a huge role in our lives, whether we're aware of it or not. People tell us about a fantastic film and it sets up an expectation about the experience we're going to have when we watch it. We start a new role or project and have expectations about what is going to change in our lives as a result. The same with a new relationship. We may have expectations of other peoples' behaviours. Our expectations become a benchmark that our experience has to meet in order to have a neutral experience or exceed in order to have a highly positive experience. We are often disappointed.
Similarly, people have expectations of us based on so many factors such as the view they formed when they read our resume, on someone else's testimonial or reference, on their perception of who we are or who we could be if we worked hard.
When the expectations are on the basis of the qualities and talents we embody, then the expectation is for us to step up to who we can be. That is a positive intention and generally a positive experience as we become aware of our own possibilities.
Too often, though, the expectations others have of us are more to do a second chance at living their own unfulfilled dreams or some idea of what we "should" be doing which has little to do with who we really are and the talents we embody.
When others have expectations of our behaviours and accomplishments and these other people are important to us, we will do our best to deliver on those expectations. The cost of not delivering is their disappointment in us so we learn to be who they want us to be so we can feel accepted and appreciated. The problem is that the person we become to avoid causing disappointment is not our authentic self. As a result, we can develop a totally distorted self view - that the person we truly are isn't good enough and that if we can achieve something, it can't exactly be rocket science. We diminish our successes and true talents. We can start feeling like imposters and lose track of the amazing being we truly are.
What do you think? I'd love to hear.
All the very best
Suzanne
Suzanne Mercier - Wednesday, April 07, 2010
I love Seth Godin's books. They are short and pithy; I always get some gems from them whether it's something I didn't know or hadn't considered, or a new perspective on something I already knew of.
I recently finished reading "The Dip", Godin's book reframing the "negative" connotation of quitting. His main point is that there are times when strategic quitting is the fastest way to be successful - getting out of one venture that is simply not working creates the space to get into something else we're better suited and resourced for.
It got me thinking back on my career since leaving George Pattersons Advertising. I had an advertising agency, a marketing consultancy, a training and consulting business, an educational club for SME's and so it continues. In each case, my story to myself is that I walked away before I could be successful and that any venture is like planting seeds and nurturing the possibility until shoots appear up through the ground. In each situation, I walked away before the shoots appeared. But perhaps they weren't ever going to appear. Perhaps I was in situations that were, in Seth Godin's words, "cul de sacs" or dead ends and walking away was the smartest decision. I think that was true of a few of the ventures I got into, especially those I allowed myself to be talked into. There were other opportunities, such as Bite Size Skills, my educational club for SME's, where I definitely walked away before the shoots appeared.
By and large, I was a serial quitter rather than a strategic quitter. Now, with Imposterhood, I'm in the Dip. I've been here before and this time, I believe I'm doing what I need to be doing, so I've got the courage and persistence to push through. Who knows, though. Perhaps I'm too close and can't see that it's a cul de sac or that there is no way I can deliver the best service in this area. Makes you think, doesn't it?
What about you? Where are you in your career at the moment? Are you in a dead end situation? Have you gone as far as you can? Or are you perhaps in the dip doing what you can to move through it as fast as possible.
What's going on for you? I'd love to hear.
All the very best
Suzanne
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