Suzanne Mercier - Saturday, May 15, 2010
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On Friday, I had the opportunity of hearing Ronni Kahn speak. As you
may already know, Ronni is the founder of OzHarvest and our newly named
Local Hero. After a successful career in Event management, she was
driven to find a way of making a difference. She talked of her trip to
the US and meeting the founder of AmericaHarvest who encouraged her to
set up OzHarvest - a food rescue organisation. The many supporters of
OzHarvest go to top restaurants, catering facilities, even MasterChef to
collect their unused and untouched food for distribution to 165
Charitable Agencies which have responsibility for feeding their needy.
These people who might otherwise have gone hungry or had to scramble
around for whatever they could scrounge get to eat with dignity and
style - some even get a 3 course restaurant quality meal!
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Those are the facts. Here's what got me.
When Ronni speaks of her journey, she is so passionate and emotionally engaged that we are there with her. She talks of how things simply fell into place when she decided what she was going to do - and that's not to deny the hardwork that was also involved. She was in flow. I don't know if Ronnie ever suffered from feelings of imposterhood. I do know that she was able to look at her skills, experience and qualities objectively when she asked herself the question "How can I contribute?" She set up OzHarvest as a way of meeting a practical need with dignity, love and respect for those she was in service to. She became an advocate for amending the civil liabilities law so people who donated food were not legally exposed. She is fierce in her determination to spread the love, and her audience including me really wanted to be part of such a powerful and passionate crusade.
Stepping back into my 'Purpose to Profit' and authenticity role, Ronni showed just how powerful being connected to our purpose can be. Her passion enrolled others including serious investors, engaging them emotionally, even spiritually. It's an intoxicating feeling to be around someone who has clearly found her way forward; her way to make a difference. Her experience of flow is common to those who work from their purpose. People wanting to support her is a direct response to the power of her passion for what she is doing.
Is there one purpose for us? In other words, are we here to fulfill our true life's purpose? Perhaps not in the way many of us understand. I believe we are here to rediscover who we really are; to gradually peel back the layers our human experience have wrapped us in. Is that so important, though, if working from purpose allows us to see those finer qualities that we so vehemently deny when we're in our imposter phase? We get to see who we really are and that allows us to put our self-imposed limitations into perspective. We create the whole of our reality. Why not create a reality filled with passion and purpose? And why not make a difference in some way today?
What do you think? I'd love to hear.
All the very best
Suzanne
PS. Ronni and OzHarvest are running a fabulous promotion on Wednesday 19th May. You're invited to donate what you would normally spend on your lunch - for a sandwich and drink or even more - to feed numerous people through Ozharvest. Check it out.
Suzanne Mercier - Thursday, May 13, 2010
A while back, I had extended business dealings with an acquaintance. This person had been pretty upfront about her views on the way we would work together which I was pleased about. What I wasn't pleased about was the way I was treated during the period of time we worked together. I became increasingly frustrated, disappointed and, towards the end of our time working together, even angry. I felt slighted; my ego was bent out of shape. At the conclusion of our time together, I breathed a sigh of relief yet every time I thought about this person, I became quite agitated. I realised it wasn't over for me.
So, I sat down and wrote out the positives and negatives of the experience. I was surprised that they were out of balance, but on the side of positive outcomes, not negative. I realised that I had so much to be grateful for that had come directly from our business relationship. How could I not
have seen that at the time? I could have saved myself heaps of angst!
What I also realised was that in my evaluation, I placed more value on the positive outcomes than the non-positive outcomes. Yet I teach people that there is equal value in both sides of the equation. From the "not so positive" side of the equation, when I allow myself to acknowledge my feelings come the lessons and the opportunities to grow.
A third, and key realisation was that I had taken situations in this working relationship and interpreted them according to my values, my beliefs and my filters. I had judged what the other person's behaviours meant and I related them back to me. I'm sure with the benefit of 20/20 hindsight that I was hallucinating. In all likelihood her behaviour had nothing to do with me. The key here is to identify information and to accept it as just that - without entering into a positive or negative judgement about what it means.
Judgement closes us in and detracts from our wisdom because we filter a situation through our own way of looking at the world, not allowing for other possibilities ... until we get that it's just information and we allow ourselves to hold that space. Not always easy.
What do you think? I'd love to know.
All the very best
Suzanne
Suzanne Mercier - Tuesday, May 11, 2010
Life throws challenges at us - it doesn't matter who we are. We may handle those challenges by going into victim mode or playing out high drama or we may see those challenges simply as information that we can learn from and respond to.
Now, this might not sound like a huge problem to you, but this morning I lost my diary. I have tried running an electronic diary - I just don't connect to it. I don't remember what I have on. I can't see it. in my mind's eye. On the other hand, when I write something into my diary, I have a visual memory of it and I then don't need to refer to my diary to see what I have on. (And yes, I'm a baby boomer with limited technical expertise). With my old-fashioned diary, I feel more in control of my life. Plus, my diary has all my access codes (in code of course) for all the different accounts we have these days. So, one of the lessons I got from the missing diary is that I need a list of all my access codes in another location so I don't get caught out.
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At one stage, I would have gone into a complete tizz about it, panicking
about how I was going to track down all the appointments beyond the
next two weeks. It is a measure of the miles these feet have walked
that I was incredibly calm. I made my list of the places I had been -
called and either spoke with people or left messages. No luck. Yet, I
am still calm - I believe it will be returned to me.
When I thought of the episode (and a few others that have occurred over
the past few weeks in the context of life throwing challenges ...) I
remembered a fabulous cartoon from Hugh Macleod of Gaping Void. I thought I'd
share it (and him) with you. His messages are simple and incredibly powerful.
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So, the next time life throws a challenge at you, use it as an opportunity to remember that you are so much more than you might think at times and that these are simply opportunities to correct your bearings on this amazing journey of ours.
What do you think? I'd love to know.
All the very best
Suzanne
Suzanne Mercier - Monday, May 10, 2010
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About 3 weeks ago, a colleague Gary Sholz from Project Balance sent me the link to an amazing video.
John Francis became an environmentalist after seeing 2 oil tankers
collide under the Golden Gate Bridge in 1971, spilling more than a half-million
gallons of oil. He saw the oozing sludge, witnessed the birds and
wildlife dying and responded by giving up driving or riding in a car. He took his banjo and started walking. Not just that, when he got tired of arguing with friends about what he was doing and whether one man could make a difference, he stopped talking too. In the external silence, the internal voices started to go quiet and he got to know who he really was.
He received a university education and started teaching - all without using his voice. He wound up in Washington writing oil pollution regulations. He had found his voice on an issue he was passionate about.
To hear and see his journey to authenticity, watch the video.
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John Francis' story really touched me. He had the courage of his convictions. He truly believed that one man could make a difference and he set out to prove it.
While we don't need to go to that extreme, we can learn or be reminded of some important lessons through his message:
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If we are silent, we can actually hear that noisy voice in our head telling us what to do, what not to do, judging ourselves and judging others. That voice is there most of the time, talking to us, and we just don't notice it. If the voice is supporting and encouraging us, great. Most commonly, though, it is reinforcing self-imposed limitations. After a while of not "feeding" the voice in our heads, it goes away. Those of us who meditate have experienced the peace that comes in place of the voice.
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In the ensuing silence, Francis was able to question how he perceived himself as a human being and a black man, and question his unconscious responses.
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Having identified what was important to him, he had the courage to live by his convictions. All it took for Francis was 17 years of silence and a pilgrimage across the U.S. After educating himself , he wound up in Washington, named as the Environmental Ambassador for the U.S. and writing oil pollution regulations. After inspiring people he encountered over his 17 years of silence, he was finally putting practical solutions in place.
The question for us is: "What do we need to do in order to see who
we really are, what is important to us and to speak from our authenticity?" I can assure you, it's not
always easy and it is worthwhile.
What do you think about finding your authentic voice? I'd love to hear.
All the very best
Suzanne
Suzanne Mercier - Thursday, May 06, 2010
I had the pleasure of listening to a colleague Robin MacKee (the Clown Doctor) speak last week. She talked of working with young children who have serious and in some cases terminal illness and that being around these young children who embrace life - given half a chance - has made her very aware of all that we have to be grateful for.
She is absolutely right and I strongly advocate examining who we are and what we're fortunate enough to be surrounded with - love, friends, family, children (human and furry), homes, nature, beautiful weather and so on. Being in the space of gratitude and appreciation really shifts our energy. We can look at a loved one with frustration and regret because we're looking at the faults - and we all have them. We can shift entirely how we feel by focussing on the qualities that make us love that person and we can feel our hearts expand as we re-experience that love.
However, that's only part of the story. Harking back to my blog on "Glass Half Full isn't the whole story", when we only look at the situations we consider 'positive', we're ignoring the opposite. We can't have light without dark. When we are only grateful for the 'positive' things in our life, we are exercising judgement that what we consider 'positive' is good and what we perceive as 'negative' is bad. Actually, the "not so great" situations around us teach us the most. They provide us with information on what is really going on for us and that information is incredibly valuable on our journey towards understanding who we really are and how we hide that being behind masks and dysfunctional protective behaviours.
I think we have lots to be grateful for and it all serves our needs.
What do you think? I'd love to know.
All the very best
Suzanne
Suzanne Mercier - Monday, May 03, 2010
Recently, I read Seth Godin's blog about bad behaviour and irrational decisions being almost always caused by fear. Seth's point is that we could change the dysfunctional behaviour by addressing the fear, yet we don't. We blame other people for what goes wrong in our lives.
I was inspired to expand on the concept.
There are so many reasons for this dysfunctional behaviour starting with learning, as we grew older, that making mistakes is not acceptable and results in punishment in some form. When we blame others, we are also failing to take responsibility and accountability for creating the whole of our universe. But we're the ones who miss out. When we blame others, we lose the opportunity to learn and we miss the chance to change the outcome because we're busy waiting for those who really caused it to recognise their mistake and fix it. How many of us have done that at some stage!
Sure it's commonly the case that there is more than one person involved in any situation. And each person engaged in the situation has influenced that situation in some way. The opportunity for us is to examine our own behaviour. Were you happy with the outcome? If not, why not? What did you contribute to the result? How did you respond? Why did you respond that way? What were the thoughts and feelings that prompted your response? Really explore what was going on for you because your answers will hold an insight for you and the key to change the outcome next time.
By taking responsibility, you are stepping into your own power rather than giving it away to someone else as you wait for that other person to change. Have you noticed that they usually don't? At least, they don't until we've changed first!
Let me know what you think. I'd love to hear.
All the very best
Suzanne
Suzanne Mercier - Tuesday, April 27, 2010
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Today at a networking function, one of the attendees confessed that one
of the ways in which she sabotages herself is to keep coming up with new
ideas, one after the other, never actually implementing any of them.
She loves the creative process, as many of us do. After years of doing
the same thing, I realise that it is much harder to implement one good
idea than it is to keep coming up with idea after idea. Not committing
to one idea absolves us from accountability and responsibility ... we
think.
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Tonight's blog from Seth Godin entitled "The paralysis of unlimited opportunity" suggests that many of us have too many choices and that we may need to limit those choices artificially so we can actually move forward.
Where and how are you sabotaging your talent and your opportunities?
I'd love to hear.
All the very best
Suzanne
Suzanne Mercier - Sunday, April 25, 2010
A dear friend of mine Joanne Prior called this morning ... early. She had been to the dawn Anzac Day Service and felt very moved, particularly when they played the Last Post on the bagpipes. One of the veterans had spoken and a key part of his message was 'let's not forget that thousands of young men lost their lives in what was a tactical error'. I hadn't heard that before. What this veteran was saying was that Gallipoli and all the other wars that have been fought exact a huge cost.
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We then talked of war, that in 1915, times were very different. We questioned whether the world progressed enough to connect, communicate and
resolve
rather than pick up arms and fight.
According to Wikipedia, and as the map shows, there is still widespread
conflict. The Major Wars are currently killing more than 1000 people
per annum. Civil War in Afghanistan and Somalia, drug wars in Mexico,
nomadic conflicts in Sudan, the Iraq War and the war in Pakistan
between Pakistani armed forces and Islamic militants.
While Australia has no major war going on, we have so much internal conflict in the name of religion, race and preservation of culture.
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Fear is the cause of war. Scarcity. Loss. Limitation. Need for protection. Control or lack of control. Abuse of power. These perceptions and situations all come from fear. Without fear, war couldn't exist. Without intending in any way to disrespect the sacrifice made by our ANZACS, how about the lesson from Anzac day is this: Fear comes at a high price - perhaps even lives in the case of war. Are we still willing to pay this price? Isn't there another way? A better way?
Yes, there is. Transform our ego-based fear into something more constructive. Move from limitation and scarcity to abundance, from judgement to curiosity, from mine to ours, from fear to hope and courage, from control over others to personal power and domain over ourselves; from victim to choice, from imposterhood to authenticity.
Let's live in the light instead of the darkness that comes from fear.
What do you think? I'd love to hear.
All the very best
Suzanne
Suzanne Mercier - Thursday, April 22, 2010
Change can be so painful - particularly the anticipation of change - and we only change when we feel that we have no choice. The very overused boiled frog analogy comes to mind. While doing what we can to avoid pain at the level we can't tolerate, many of us are motivated by the thought of a better world.
While working in the area of the Imposter Syndrome for the past 17 months, all my unresolved "stuff" has come up - stuff I thought I had handled years ago. I became aware of heart-gripping feeling of fear and realised how constant it was in my life. It felt like my world had become so much smaller. This time around though, I've had the opportunity to handle it differently,- more honestly. I have no choice now. When something hasn't been handled to a stage of completeness, it sits in my mind and crops up at totally unexpected moments. Now that I'm really handling it, life is changing. Sometimes the changes are so fast, I can't catch my breath, while at other times, it seems life is standing still.
What I have done is kept a record of where I was and where I am now, so I have evidence of what has changed. It gives me confidence to keep going when it feels like I've stalled. On the business front, my client base has increased along with my income. On the whole, my relationships are authentic and deepening. Stuff still comes up and I hop onto it reasonably quickly. I'm in a more creative space which I love. And my mind seems to be firing so much faster than it was. Life feels so much more exciting than it did 5 months ago when I hit a low point.
It's reassuring to know that things on the other side of Fear Mountain are so positive. Probably more importantly is "how did the change happen?"
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Awareness creates the pattern break so I have the opportunity to make a choice.
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Cognitive reappraising the situation - using the power of my mind to detect negative thoughts and replace them with positive ones.
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Stepping back from the feeling of fear and the resulting stress so I can reclaim my brain.
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Consciously bringing myself back to the present. Fear only exists in the future. By that I mean that fear is anxiety over something we think is going to happen. 90% of the time, it doesn't! Plus, the only time we can choose is in the present.
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Reframing my take on the situation so I could see it from a different
perspective, increasing my wisdom
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Engaging in the daily practice of gratitude that comes when we are mindful: of the world around us, of any human interactions, of the beauty of our homes, of the wonder of nature, of the amazing lifestyle we have in Australia. When we're grateful, our hearts expand. We may even feel joy. In that space, it's impossible to feel fearful.
When we live with something - even pain - for an extended period of time, it becomes the norm. So, if you haven't done so already, start to notice where you limit what you let yourself do; where you pull back from some new adventure or from something that is unknown; where you become less than you know you really are. When you become aware, you can choose to do it differently. I think you're worth it. Don't you?
What do you think? I'd love to hear.
All the very best
Suzanne
Suzanne Mercier - Wednesday, April 21, 2010
I love other peoples' bookshelves. I guess it's a form of voyeurism - to check out what they own, drawing the perhaps inappropriate conclusion that the books on their shelf say something about who they are and their interests.
At the moment, I'm focussed on fear - what it is, why we experience it, what it does to us and how we can move beyond it. I believe that fear is the great inhibitor that stands in the way of us seeing who we truly are and what we can accomplish once we see ourselves ... really see ourselves.
I went to Mo's bookshelf, spotted "The Power of Now" (Eckhart Tolle), and randomly opened the book. The page it opened to was "The Origin of Fear" (page 43) where Tolle talks about different types of fear focussing on psychological fear - which is the worry that something might happen, not fear in the present of a true and immediate danger. Fear of what might happen creates an anxiety gap which becomes our present companion if we are strongly associated with our minds. This anxiety manifests as the unsettling feeling of not being good enough. If the feeling is unconscious, it is felt indirectly as something missing, a hollowness, an intense craving, a wanting and needing. We then seek to relieve this awful feeling through obtaining possessions or a special relationship - anything that may make us feel better about ourselves. The problem is, it only works for the few moments when the acquisition is new. Then the hollow feeling re-emerges.
When we identify with our mind, we have lost touch with the power and simplicity of now. In that space, we are disconnected from our true power, "... our deeper self rooted in Being ,.." and fear, together with the desire to neutralise it, will be our constant companion.
According to Tolle, the number of people who have moved beyond mind identification is very small, so we can assume that most people we meet live with fear. We're talking about moving beyond ego, and it's not easy. The ego fights hard to remain in control of our lives.
One practice that can bring us into the Now is gratitude. What am I truly grateful for, right now? The practice of focussing on our blessings expands our hearts as well as connecting us with other people and the world around us. I know which space I'd prefer to be in.
What do you think? I'd love to hear
All the very best
Suzanne
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