Suzanne Mercier - Tuesday, May 11, 2010
Life throws challenges at us - it doesn't matter who we are. We may handle those challenges by going into victim mode or playing out high drama or we may see those challenges simply as information that we can learn from and respond to.
Now, this might not sound like a huge problem to you, but this morning I lost my diary. I have tried running an electronic diary - I just don't connect to it. I don't remember what I have on. I can't see it. in my mind's eye. On the other hand, when I write something into my diary, I have a visual memory of it and I then don't need to refer to my diary to see what I have on. (And yes, I'm a baby boomer with limited technical expertise). With my old-fashioned diary, I feel more in control of my life. Plus, my diary has all my access codes (in code of course) for all the different accounts we have these days. So, one of the lessons I got from the missing diary is that I need a list of all my access codes in another location so I don't get caught out.
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At one stage, I would have gone into a complete tizz about it, panicking
about how I was going to track down all the appointments beyond the
next two weeks. It is a measure of the miles these feet have walked
that I was incredibly calm. I made my list of the places I had been -
called and either spoke with people or left messages. No luck. Yet, I
am still calm - I believe it will be returned to me.
When I thought of the episode (and a few others that have occurred over
the past few weeks in the context of life throwing challenges ...) I
remembered a fabulous cartoon from Hugh Macleod of Gaping Void. I thought I'd
share it (and him) with you. His messages are simple and incredibly powerful.
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So, the next time life throws a challenge at you, use it as an opportunity to remember that you are so much more than you might think at times and that these are simply opportunities to correct your bearings on this amazing journey of ours.
What do you think? I'd love to know.
All the very best
Suzanne
Suzanne Mercier - Monday, May 10, 2010
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About 3 weeks ago, a colleague Gary Sholz from Project Balance sent me the link to an amazing video.
John Francis became an environmentalist after seeing 2 oil tankers
collide under the Golden Gate Bridge in 1971, spilling more than a half-million
gallons of oil. He saw the oozing sludge, witnessed the birds and
wildlife dying and responded by giving up driving or riding in a car. He took his banjo and started walking. Not just that, when he got tired of arguing with friends about what he was doing and whether one man could make a difference, he stopped talking too. In the external silence, the internal voices started to go quiet and he got to know who he really was.
He received a university education and started teaching - all without using his voice. He wound up in Washington writing oil pollution regulations. He had found his voice on an issue he was passionate about.
To hear and see his journey to authenticity, watch the video.
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John Francis' story really touched me. He had the courage of his convictions. He truly believed that one man could make a difference and he set out to prove it.
While we don't need to go to that extreme, we can learn or be reminded of some important lessons through his message:
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If we are silent, we can actually hear that noisy voice in our head telling us what to do, what not to do, judging ourselves and judging others. That voice is there most of the time, talking to us, and we just don't notice it. If the voice is supporting and encouraging us, great. Most commonly, though, it is reinforcing self-imposed limitations. After a while of not "feeding" the voice in our heads, it goes away. Those of us who meditate have experienced the peace that comes in place of the voice.
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In the ensuing silence, Francis was able to question how he perceived himself as a human being and a black man, and question his unconscious responses.
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Having identified what was important to him, he had the courage to live by his convictions. All it took for Francis was 17 years of silence and a pilgrimage across the U.S. After educating himself , he wound up in Washington, named as the Environmental Ambassador for the U.S. and writing oil pollution regulations. After inspiring people he encountered over his 17 years of silence, he was finally putting practical solutions in place.
The question for us is: "What do we need to do in order to see who
we really are, what is important to us and to speak from our authenticity?" I can assure you, it's not
always easy and it is worthwhile.
What do you think about finding your authentic voice? I'd love to hear.
All the very best
Suzanne
Suzanne Mercier - Thursday, May 06, 2010
I had the pleasure of listening to a colleague Robin MacKee (the Clown Doctor) speak last week. She talked of working with young children who have serious and in some cases terminal illness and that being around these young children who embrace life - given half a chance - has made her very aware of all that we have to be grateful for.
She is absolutely right and I strongly advocate examining who we are and what we're fortunate enough to be surrounded with - love, friends, family, children (human and furry), homes, nature, beautiful weather and so on. Being in the space of gratitude and appreciation really shifts our energy. We can look at a loved one with frustration and regret because we're looking at the faults - and we all have them. We can shift entirely how we feel by focussing on the qualities that make us love that person and we can feel our hearts expand as we re-experience that love.
However, that's only part of the story. Harking back to my blog on "Glass Half Full isn't the whole story", when we only look at the situations we consider 'positive', we're ignoring the opposite. We can't have light without dark. When we are only grateful for the 'positive' things in our life, we are exercising judgement that what we consider 'positive' is good and what we perceive as 'negative' is bad. Actually, the "not so great" situations around us teach us the most. They provide us with information on what is really going on for us and that information is incredibly valuable on our journey towards understanding who we really are and how we hide that being behind masks and dysfunctional protective behaviours.
I think we have lots to be grateful for and it all serves our needs.
What do you think? I'd love to know.
All the very best
Suzanne
Suzanne Mercier - Monday, May 03, 2010
Recently, I read Seth Godin's blog about bad behaviour and irrational decisions being almost always caused by fear. Seth's point is that we could change the dysfunctional behaviour by addressing the fear, yet we don't. We blame other people for what goes wrong in our lives.
I was inspired to expand on the concept.
There are so many reasons for this dysfunctional behaviour starting with learning, as we grew older, that making mistakes is not acceptable and results in punishment in some form. When we blame others, we are also failing to take responsibility and accountability for creating the whole of our universe. But we're the ones who miss out. When we blame others, we lose the opportunity to learn and we miss the chance to change the outcome because we're busy waiting for those who really caused it to recognise their mistake and fix it. How many of us have done that at some stage!
Sure it's commonly the case that there is more than one person involved in any situation. And each person engaged in the situation has influenced that situation in some way. The opportunity for us is to examine our own behaviour. Were you happy with the outcome? If not, why not? What did you contribute to the result? How did you respond? Why did you respond that way? What were the thoughts and feelings that prompted your response? Really explore what was going on for you because your answers will hold an insight for you and the key to change the outcome next time.
By taking responsibility, you are stepping into your own power rather than giving it away to someone else as you wait for that other person to change. Have you noticed that they usually don't? At least, they don't until we've changed first!
Let me know what you think. I'd love to hear.
All the very best
Suzanne
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