Suzanne Mercier - Sunday, April 11, 2010
Yesterday, I introduced the subject of stress and its significant costs to us as individuals, to our families and the organisations we work for. The ABC programme that stimulated the blog was Portrait of a Killer. This programme really struck a chord with me: it's well worth watching.
I talked about the consequences of stress which certainly surprised me. Even more unexpected for me though were the key findings from the two studies. Like many of us, I attribute stress to life moving too fast, change being a constant, feeling carried along by an insane tidal wave, having far too much to do, balancing roles that seem impossible to balance. I also believe that we feel stressed when we're in environments which bring up or exacerbate our feelings of "not good enough".
Here's what the studies found:
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Social standing and rank can make us more or less susceptible to
stress.
The higher the rank and social standing, the lower the
stress levels - in baboons and humans. A huge component of stress is
loss of control and the further down the food chain we are, the less
control we have or perceive ourselves to have. People who live in
affluent areas and feel affluent are far less stressed than people who
live in less stable environments where the threat of physical violence
on a daily basis is very real. These people need to be hypervigilant,
always on their guard which is highly stressful. People who are in
positions of greater control are less stressed than those they control.
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Control is linked with levels of stress.
The more in control we are, the less stress we are likely to experience. Greater levels of control are more likely to be found further up the hierarchy. Studying the baboons, Robert Sapolsky, a Professor of Neurobiology at Stanford University, noticed that the alpha males took what they wanted when they wanted. He also noticed that when they were frustrated, they took that frustration out on baboons who were further down the hierarchy, and that they in turn, did the same thing to those baboons they controlled - often the females.
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It's a great argument for heading for the top isn't it! At least there, we have greater social standing and control over circumstances. We know as the alpha that we control what goes on around us, not the other way around.
Our lives are far broader - I hope - than just work, so to counteract any feeling of powerlessness in our work environment, we can look for other areas in our lives where we can be at the top of the pyramid and which nurture our self-esteem.
My current focus on the Imposter Syndrome and what generally gets in the way of us being who we are and doing what we're capable of means that I put on that pair of goggles when I look at the similar results the two studies produced.
When we're feeling like fakes and frauds, we are feeling uncomfortable with who we think we are. We put on a mask or facade if you like that presents a face to the world - a face we believe is more acceptable, more lovable, more worthy of respect and opportunities. The schism between who we think we are and who we present to the world causes anxiety and stress. Like the civil servants or baboons who are way down on the food chain, we become hypervigilant, watching out for situations that threaten us.
When we can embrace who we are - our authenticity - we create control in our lives through surrender. We surrender the notion of perfection. We surrender the need to control events. The only thing we can control is our response to those events. That puts us firmly in our power which is an envigorating feeling, not the powerless feeling that comes when we feel pushed around and can't do anything about it.
What do you think? I'd love to hear
All the very best
Suzanne
Suzanne Mercier - Saturday, April 10, 2010
Yesterday, a friend Richard Stacey pointed me in the direction of an ABC programme I had missed called "Portrait of a Killer". The programme highlights the significant and surprising results of stress in two quite different studies: One was a tribe of baboons in the Masai Mara Reserve, Kenya and the other was British Civil Servants in Whitehall, London.
Understandably, stress triggered very different behaviours in those being studied. In baboons, gathering food only took 3 hours per day, leaving them with up to 9 hours to fill. They did that by generally making each others' lives miserable. The alpha males in the group would abuse those lower on the hierarchy who would, in turn, take their frustration out on those further down the food chain. The abuse was overt and physical. In fact, it wasn't so different to what can be experienced in the workplace when senior leaders and managers taking their frustration out on those beneath them. It's just more subtle in the human sphere and takes the form of emotional and mental abuse rather than physical punishment.
Findings on the consequences of stress from both studies included:
- increased heart rate and blood pressure which is linked with deteriorating health
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reduction in the number of brain cells, effectively shrinking our brains
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telomeres that cap the ends of our chromosomes unravel, speeding up the aging process
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damaged artery walls enable deposits of plaque which prevent the artery wall from expanding and increase our risk of heart attack
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reduction in the capability of our immune system to control bacteria in the body, resulting in increased dis-ease
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changed brain chemistry to resemble that of a chronically depressed human
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altered the brain circuits impairing the ability to remember and learn
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modified metabolism which changes the way our bodies store fat (around the middle - the dangerous fat)
When we consider the impact that each of these factors has on our happiness as individuals, our ability to contribute to our highest potential, the impact on our families of being stressed and frustrated when we return from work, the very real cost to our health and wellbeing, stress needs to be understood and handled now!
In my next blog, I'll examine the surprising causes of stress and why some people experience it while others seem to have a much easier time of it.
What do you think about the cost of stress in our lives? I'd love to hear.
All the very best
Suzanne
Suzanne Mercier - Thursday, April 08, 2010
Expectations play a huge role in our lives, whether we're aware of it or not. People tell us about a fantastic film and it sets up an expectation about the experience we're going to have when we watch it. We start a new role or project and have expectations about what is going to change in our lives as a result. The same with a new relationship. We may have expectations of other peoples' behaviours. Our expectations become a benchmark that our experience has to meet in order to have a neutral experience or exceed in order to have a highly positive experience. We are often disappointed.
Similarly, people have expectations of us based on so many factors such as the view they formed when they read our resume, on someone else's testimonial or reference, on their perception of who we are or who we could be if we worked hard.
When the expectations are on the basis of the qualities and talents we embody, then the expectation is for us to step up to who we can be. That is a positive intention and generally a positive experience as we become aware of our own possibilities.
Too often, though, the expectations others have of us are more to do a second chance at living their own unfulfilled dreams or some idea of what we "should" be doing which has little to do with who we really are and the talents we embody.
When others have expectations of our behaviours and accomplishments and these other people are important to us, we will do our best to deliver on those expectations. The cost of not delivering is their disappointment in us so we learn to be who they want us to be so we can feel accepted and appreciated. The problem is that the person we become to avoid causing disappointment is not our authentic self. As a result, we can develop a totally distorted self view - that the person we truly are isn't good enough and that if we can achieve something, it can't exactly be rocket science. We diminish our successes and true talents. We can start feeling like imposters and lose track of the amazing being we truly are.
What do you think? I'd love to hear.
All the very best
Suzanne
Suzanne Mercier - Wednesday, April 07, 2010
I love Seth Godin's books. They are short and pithy; I always get some gems from them whether it's something I didn't know or hadn't considered, or a new perspective on something I already knew of.
I recently finished reading "The Dip", Godin's book reframing the "negative" connotation of quitting. His main point is that there are times when strategic quitting is the fastest way to be successful - getting out of one venture that is simply not working creates the space to get into something else we're better suited and resourced for.
It got me thinking back on my career since leaving George Pattersons Advertising. I had an advertising agency, a marketing consultancy, a training and consulting business, an educational club for SME's and so it continues. In each case, my story to myself is that I walked away before I could be successful and that any venture is like planting seeds and nurturing the possibility until shoots appear up through the ground. In each situation, I walked away before the shoots appeared. But perhaps they weren't ever going to appear. Perhaps I was in situations that were, in Seth Godin's words, "cul de sacs" or dead ends and walking away was the smartest decision. I think that was true of a few of the ventures I got into, especially those I allowed myself to be talked into. There were other opportunities, such as Bite Size Skills, my educational club for SME's, where I definitely walked away before the shoots appeared.
By and large, I was a serial quitter rather than a strategic quitter. Now, with Imposterhood, I'm in the Dip. I've been here before and this time, I believe I'm doing what I need to be doing, so I've got the courage and persistence to push through. Who knows, though. Perhaps I'm too close and can't see that it's a cul de sac or that there is no way I can deliver the best service in this area. Makes you think, doesn't it?
What about you? Where are you in your career at the moment? Are you in a dead end situation? Have you gone as far as you can? Or are you perhaps in the dip doing what you can to move through it as fast as possible.
What's going on for you? I'd love to hear.
All the very best
Suzanne
Suzanne Mercier - Monday, April 05, 2010
I have talked before in my newsletter "Beyond Limitations" about the journey to authenticity being about stripping away the masks and layers of protection we've put in place.
Now that I'm talking regularly about authenticity and what stands in the way, all my own issues around authenticity and imposterhood have come up one-by-one to be examined and addressed. I feel as though it's been a bumpy ride over the past few years, yet one where I have learned so much about what it means to be authentic. Occasionally, I get caught out and become conscious of feeling not good enough. It doesn't happen often and it's clear to me that the triggers that used to set me off don't even register now.
It's not until I look back that I see how far I've come on this journey. I even allow myself to celebrate now. After all, where I am today is the most authentic I have ever been as an adult.
This journey is about convincing the imposter to step down - not about bludgeoning it into submission. It's about enjoying the gradual reveal of who I really am underneath. You too?
What do you think? I'd love to hear.
All the very best
Suzanne
Suzanne Mercier - Sunday, April 04, 2010
Recently, trawling the net in search of more substantiation of the power of authenticity, I found the results of a study on the most authentic brands in Australia. Two companies - Synovate and Principals - have co-operated to produce this report and the findings strongly support the power and value of authenticity.
For those of you who are curious, the top 3 authentic brands were Microsoft, Google and Australia Post. I'll go into what factors are taken into consideration when ranking the brands on authenticity in another post.
What I want to talk about today is why authenticity is so important; why it matters.
Most of us would agree that the market is fairly crowded with consumer brands, business-to-business brands and employer brands. With all that noise, businesses definitely need to find a way to stand out and, according to marketing thought leaders, the battleground is for the hearts and minds of consumers. Authenticity has a huge impact on the connection people have with the brand.
Research results show that authentic brands inspire greater customer loyalty and brand advocacy. Their share of high value customers in a category is also higher, meaning that these brands are more profitable.
The art of positioning a brand has always been about building meaningful connections for the brand in the mind of the target market. Commonly, the brands people buy and use say something about them as individuals. Authenticity is the key to the meaning we seek to experience and express. When we truly understand what a brand stands for, we can decide if we want to be associated with it; perhaps to do business with that brand.
Isn't it the same with people too? We respond most positively to people who we sense to be real - authentic - whose word we trust and whose behaviour we see as aligned with what they say. When we know who an individual truly is, we can decide if we want to be associated with that individual or not. We can identify what we have in common with that individual and how closely he or she matches our values and beliefs. It's not personal; it's about connections.
What do you think? I'd love to hear.
All the very best
Suzanne
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