Creativity can get in the way of success

Suzanne Mercier - Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Tonight's blog from Seth Godin entitled "The paralysis of unlimited opportunity"  suggests that many of us have too many choices and that we may need to limit those choices artificially  so we can actually move forward.

Where and how are you sabotaging your talent and your opportunities? 

I'd love to hear.
All the very best
Suzanne

Anzac Day - let's get real

Suzanne Mercier - Sunday, April 25, 2010

A dear friend of mine Joanne Prior called this morning ... early.  She had been to the dawn Anzac Day Service and felt very moved, particularly when they played the Last Post on the bagpipes.  One of the veterans had spoken and a key part of his message was 'let's not forget that thousands of young men lost their lives in what was a tactical error'.  I hadn't heard that before.  What this veteran was saying was that Gallipoli and all the other wars that have been fought exact a huge cost.

Fear is the cause of war.  Scarcity.  Loss.  Limitation.  Need for protection.  Control or lack of control.  Abuse of power.  These perceptions and situations all come from fear.  Without fear, war couldn't exist.  Without intending in any way to disrespect the sacrifice made by our ANZACS, how about the lesson from Anzac day is this:  Fear comes at a high price - perhaps even lives in the case of war.  Are we still willing to pay this price?  Isn't there another way?  A better way?

Yes, there is.  Transform our ego-based fear into something more constructive.  Move from limitation and scarcity to abundance, from judgement to curiosity, from mine to ours, from fear to hope and courage, from control over others to personal power and domain over ourselves; from victim to choice, from imposterhood to authenticity.

Let's live in the light instead of the darkness that comes from fear.

What do you think?  I'd love to hear.

All the very best

Suzanne

On the other side of Fear Mountain

Suzanne Mercier - Thursday, April 22, 2010

Change can be so painful - particularly the anticipation of change - and we only change when we feel that we have no choice.  The very overused boiled frog analogy comes to mind.  While doing what we can to avoid pain at the level we can't tolerate, many of us are motivated by the thought of a better world.

While working in the area of the Imposter Syndrome for the past 17 months, all my  unresolved "stuff" has come up - stuff I thought I had handled years ago.  I became aware of heart-gripping feeling of fear and realised how constant it was in my life.  It felt like my world had become so much smaller.  This time around though, I've had the opportunity to handle it differently,- more honestly.  I have no choice now.  When something hasn't been handled to a stage of completeness, it sits in my mind and crops up at totally unexpected moments.  Now that I'm really handling it, life is changing.  Sometimes the changes are so fast, I can't catch my breath, while at other times, it seems life is standing still.

What I have done is kept a record of where I was and where I am now, so I have evidence of what has changed.  It gives me confidence to keep going when it feels like I've stalled.  On the business front, my client base has increased along with my income.  On the whole, my relationships are authentic and deepening.  Stuff still comes up and I hop onto it reasonably quickly.   I'm in a more creative space which I love.  And my mind seems to be firing so much faster than it was.  Life feels so much more exciting than it did 5 months ago when I hit a low point.

It's reassuring to know that things on the other side of Fear Mountain are so positive.  Probably more importantly is "how did the change happen?" 

When we live with something - even pain - for an extended period of time, it becomes the norm.  So, if you haven't done so already, start to notice where you limit what you let yourself do; where you pull back from some new adventure or from something that is unknown; where you become less than you know you really are.  When you become aware, you can choose to do it differently.   I think you're worth it.  Don't you?

What do you think?  I'd love to hear.

All the very best

Suzanne 

The ego drives 'not good enough'

Suzanne Mercier - Wednesday, April 21, 2010

I love other peoples' bookshelves.  I guess it's a form of voyeurism - to check out what they own, drawing the perhaps inappropriate conclusion that the books on their shelf say something about who they are and their interests.

At the moment, I'm focussed on fear - what it is, why we experience it, what it does to us and how we can move beyond it.  I believe that fear is the great inhibitor that stands in the way of us seeing who we truly are and what we can accomplish once we see ourselves ... really see ourselves.

I went to Mo's bookshelf, spotted "The Power of Now" (Eckhart Tolle), and randomly opened the book.  The page it opened to was "The Origin of Fear" (page 43) where Tolle talks about different types of fear focussing on psychological fear - which is the worry that something might happen, not fear in the present of a true and immediate danger.  Fear of what might happen creates an anxiety gap which becomes our present companion if we are strongly associated with our minds.  This anxiety manifests as the unsettling feeling of not being good enough.  If the feeling is unconscious, it is felt indirectly as something missing,  a hollowness, an intense craving, a wanting and needing. We then seek to relieve this awful feeling through obtaining possessions or a special relationship - anything that may make us feel better about ourselves.  The problem is, it only works for the few moments when the acquisition is new.  Then the hollow feeling re-emerges.

When we identify with our mind, we have lost touch with the power and simplicity of now.  In that space, we are disconnected from our true power, "... our deeper self rooted in Being ,.." and fear, together with the desire to neutralise it, will be our constant companion.

According to Tolle, the number of people who have moved beyond mind identification is very small, so we can assume that most people we meet live with fear.  We're talking about moving beyond ego, and it's not easy.  The ego fights hard to remain in control of our lives.

One practice that can bring us into the Now is gratitude.  What am I truly grateful for, right now? The practice of focussing on our blessings expands our hearts as well as connecting us with other people and the world around us.  I know which space I'd prefer to be in.

What do you think?  I'd love to hear

All the very best
Suzanne

Living in the Now

Suzanne Mercier - Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Over the past few days, I've been living and working out of a friend's house in Seaforth, right on the water.  Every morning (very early), the rowers are out training with their coaches in speedboats alongside. 

I got to thinking that when we're engaged in something that requires intense concentration and requires us to use our talents, skills and experiences, we are operating in the present and most likely in flow.  There's no room for worrying about whether we're good enough in that moment.  It doesn't even occur to us.  We're engaged in great work, whatever that might be.  No fear exists ... because fear only exists when we live in the future.

In the present, we can be totally connected with who we are and what we're capable of.  We can identify our strengths and the areas where we can make our unique contribution.  In the present, we can choose to act  ... or not ... because choice only exists in the present.

Now I'm not saying we shouldn't spend any time thinking about the future and planning for desired outcomes.  I am suggesting that we pay attention to how much time we spend in the future and become aware of how much of that time is actually constructive (creating the future we want) versus destructive (triggering anxiety and fear).  Once we're aware of the ratio, we can choose - in the present - to change it.

What do you think?  I'd love to hear.
All the very best
Suzanne

An Ode to Cosmo

Suzanne Mercier - Sunday, April 18, 2010

The first thing he does is to rush into the water to chase tiny fish.  As he ploughs through the water, his tail wagging madly, the little fish leap out of the water in front of him.  He watches them intently and tries to catch them.  Back and forth across the pool, 5 minutes, 10 minutes, 15 minutes.  His concentration is amazing and he's clearly in flow.  He's consistent and persistent.

Then he turns his attention to the beach and starts digging.  The sheer joy with which he flings the sand in the air is wonderful to watch.  The different ways he approaches the hole to dig it into a different shape show me he's very creative. 

He found an old ball which he dragged around the beach with one paw, then buried, dug up, buried, dug up.  The whole time, his tail was wagging and he had an expression of pure joy on his face.

As I watched him, I felt that joy.  I had to laugh at his antics.  I was amazed at his dedication.  He was demonstrating pure authenticity:  total acceptance of who he is.  There was no thought that he wasn't good enough - not one!  He was driven to do something he was really good at - digging holes and chasing fish.

You know, sometimes we just complicate things. Perhaps life can be that simple.  Find out what you love to do and just do it, knowing that you can and knowing that it doesn't matter what anyone else says, this is what brings you joy and meaning.

What do you think?  I'd love to know
All the very best
Suzanne

A purpose-full journey

Suzanne Mercier - Friday, April 16, 2010

At the end of last week, I received a call from a successful real estate executive wanting to work with me to identify his purpose and the purpose of his business.  He has multiple real estate offices.  He is presumably financially successful, but money is rarely enough.  He is on his personal journey and wants to add more meaning to his life and a strong foundation for his business.

While I've been talking about Purpose - our reason for being here and the area where we can be of greatest service - for around 18 years, no-one has ever contacted me out of the blue to ask me to guide them on this type of journey before.  Purpose requires us to fully recognise and accept our talents and skills because without recognising them, we can't use them to be of service in a way that is unique to each of us.  We need to embrace our authenticity in order to access our wisdom.  Purpose and Imposterhood don't go together.

I'm so excited because I think either our consciousness is changing or I'm changing enough to attract this type of work into my life without having to do the hard sell on why Purpose is so important.  Most likely both.

It inspired me to write down what has changed in my life since I recognised that I had found my area of service and decided what success means to me.  It's such a great exercise because on a day-to-day basis, we may think nothing is moving.  In reality, our world is shifting - at first slowly and the at an accelerated rate.

I hope the same is happening for you.

What do you think?  I'd love to know.
All the very best
Suzanne

What does success mean to you?

Suzanne Mercier - Thursday, April 15, 2010

I'm currently developing some material for a conference presentation around the subject of success and providing a pathway for the attendees to follow in order to be more successful at work.  As I was mapping the presentation out in my head, one thought kept coming up:   how do we define success for ourselves?  It's such a subjective area yet so many of us take on other peoples' ideas of what success is and should be for us. 

Success may be measured in monetary terms and for many it is.  It may be measured by the degree of loyalty and support in a family.  For so many others, it's about making a difference, being of service and living a meaningful life.

An equally important question is "What am I willing to pay / give up in order to be successful?"  This question usually helps us identify the level of motivation we have around being successful.

For years, I thought that I would be successful when I made a certain amount of money.  At the level I had in mind, I would be able to do and have exactly what I wanted so people would know I was successful.  Pure ego talking!  Thank goodness I've got a healthier view of success now.

Finally, the ultimate question:  do I truly believe I deserve the success I want?   You see, I didn't really believe I deserved success and my desire to make heaps of money was to show them (and to show me) that I really was valuable.  So, I sabotaged all my opportunities, walking away just before they came to fruition.  Feeling like a fake and fraud and not being good enough wasn't conscious yet it formed the backbone of my view of the world and that's exactly what I manifested.

So, when you think of being successful, really explore what that means to you, what you're willing to do in order to achieve that outcome and what stands in the way.

What do you think?  I'd love to know.

All the very best

Suzanne

A new slant on hard vs. soft skills

Suzanne Mercier - Wednesday, April 14, 2010

A friend, Mo Fox, and I were talking last night about a great presentation she had attended with Gina Lazenby, featuring the work of Riane Eisler and the subject of Caring Economics. 

In fact, international trade in arms was - in 1988 at  the time Waring's book "If Women Counted" was published -  the biggest growth industry of all and as Waring points out, killing people or preparing to kill is very valuable in the international economic system and therefore entire countries whose economic systems are based on arms have a vested interest in there being a war somewhere in the world.  The same economic system that values arms trading because it is an economic transaction, never measures the debit which in this case would include death, homelessness, injury, poverty and starvation.

What we are seeing in Waring's work and in less confrontational terms, the work of Eisler, is a calling to economic account for the softer values that have huge current and potential value to our lives and those of the generations to come.  Eisler's new economic model, taken from her book "The Real Wealth of Nations:  Creating a Caring Economics", adds 3 new sectors of the economy into the model:  Volunteer Services, Household and Environment. Eisler also proposes ways in which these three sectors can become part of the total economic picture.

Going back and reconnecting with Waring's work got me thinking about soft and hard values and skills.  My mind shifted from looking at the global economy to thinking about organisations today - a natural segue if you consider that organisations contribute to the economy and are therefore measured in positive terms, not necessarily any deficits they create. 

The argument about the inherent worth of soft or hard values and skills still plays out in that environment.  Women are generally thought to embody the softer skills.  According to the Business Council of Australia,  only 10.7% of senior executive positions in Australia are held by women.  They occupy just 2% of CEO roles. Women chair 2% of ASX 200 companies and hold just 8.3% of board directorships.  What do those figures say about how highly business values the softer values?

As a speaker, trainer and coach working in the area of soft skills - helping people engage and deliver to their potential  - I have frequently heard  "We're only focussing on hard skills.  That's what we need right now.  That soft stuff is too hard to measure and it takes too long".  Yet, the soft stuff is what drives the improved and sustained results they're looking for in their bottom line and shareholder returns.

It's much easier to see, assess and measure improvements in hard skills.  It is possible though to gauge the impact of softer skills on bottom line, particularly over time.  In recent years, we've read books•  that outline sustained superior business results from focussing on the soft stuff - business purpose;  style of leadership where the leader sees him- or herself as being in service to the people and organisation rather than in control; where people are recognised as critical to the success of the organisation and every effort is made to ensure their work is meaningful for them because their unique contribution is so valuable; where the philosophy of finding the right people, then putting them into the jobs they can best use their skills, to name just a few.  The companies profiled in the books below significantly outperformed their competition year after year because they focussed on the soft stuff.

I think finding a way to incorporate soft skills into any organisation is well worth the effort for now and for the future.  What do you think?  I'd love to hear.

All the very best

Suzanne

• Books such as "Built to Last" (Porras & Collins) "Good to Great" (Collins), "Firms of Endearment" (Sisodia, Sheth & Wolf), "The Speed of Trust" (Covey Jr.), "Meaning, Inc." (Baines), "Purpose.  The starting point of great companies" (Mourkogiannis)

Stress is a killer Part 3

Suzanne Mercier - Monday, April 12, 2010

One final piece to the Stress story I've talked about over the past couple of days.  The first troop of baboons Robert Sapolsky studied, experienced a tragedy 10 years into the study that changed the culture of the troop from that point forward.  They discovered a tourist facility and began raiding their garbage for food.  Unfortunately, they consumed meat tainted with TB and half the troop died.  The deaths weren't random ... they were all the alpha males of the troop, presumably because they could take whatever they wanted and consumed the "lion's share" of the available food.

This troop no longer exhibited signs of stress - such as high blood pressure, changed brain chemistry.  They typified what could happen for humans in a world of acceptance, harmony and co-operation. 

The lessons for our corporate world are obvious:

• aggressive behaviour creates stress on those who are being treated poorly and stress creates health issues that impact on productivity, morale and absenteeism in the workplace
• aggressive behaviour can also create uncertainty and loss of control for those further down the "food chain" which can trigger or exacerbate feelings of 'not good enough' and a full flight experience of Imposterhood.
• "you get more flies with honey than vinegar" was a saying my mother used frequently and which reflects the changed experience of the first baboon troop Sapolsky studied and the benefits that came from increased social affiliation, nurturing and reduced stress.  Taking that into the corporate environment, this underpins the Gallup finding that people join organisations and leave managers.  If the manager treats his or her staff poorly, they will either leave literally or emotionally.  Certainly poor and aggressive management negatively impact on productivity and the contribution of discretionary effort beyond job descriptions, which literally increases bottom line.
• happy people work together.  They want to create something great; something meaningful.  They enjoy the social interactions and support they receive.  The certainty and feeling of control that come from being nurtured and guided lead to significantly higher levels of productivity and contribution.

I think it's worth an investment in reducing the stress in our people.  What do you think?  I'd love to hear.
All the very best
Suzanne